


Hooked on You

by killerweasel



Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: F/M, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23588902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: This crack!fic is the result of my finding out Jon Hamm has hook hands on '30 Rock'.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Hooked on You

Title: Hooked on You  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Beelzebub, Gabriel  
Pairings: Beelzebub/Gabriel  
Word Count: 350  
Rating: PG-13  
A/N: After Episode 6.  
Summary: This crack!fic is the result of my finding out Jon Hamm has hook hands on '30 Rock'.

"Gabriel, I got those zzztupid cupcakes you..." Beelzebub trailed off as she spotted the Archangel against the wall. The box tumbled from her hands and hit the floor with a thud. "What the fuck?"

"What? Now you don't like me because I have to wear these old-timey pirate hooks because of what happened to my hands? Fuck right off, Bee." Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and managed to get both hooks stuck in the wall. He swore loudly, tearing them loose. "I wouldn't even need these hooks if _someone_ hadn't been too drunk and decided to get into shenanigans involving two swords and a blindfold."

"Excuzzze me? This is _my_ fault?"

"'Don't worry, Gabriel, I can throw my zzzwords and chop the applezzz you're holding in half. I can even do it blindfolded!'." Gabriel's voice had grown incredibly high-pitched as he paced back and forth across the room. "You missed the apples and took both of my hands off at the wrist! Don't you remember all the screaming? And the blood?"

"I don't zzzzound like that, you asshole." Beelzebub threw her arms in the air. "Oh my Satan, will you stop being such a drama queen? You can just get a new corporation! There's no reason for hooks in the first place!"

"Yeah, that's not happening for at least another month. Apparently when you get oddly discorporated four times by your demonic Prince of a girlfriend in less than a couple of weeks, Michael has a hissy fit and cuts you off from new bodies as a punishment." When Gabriel leaned down to pick up the cupcake box, his hooks went through the flimsy cardboard. "Damn it!"

"Did you need a hand or two, Gabriel?"

Gabriel glared in her direction and then held both hooks so they were pointed at the ceiling. "I know you probably can't figure it out, but I'm flipping you off right now, Bee."

Beelzebub quirked a brow at Gabriel. "You know, we could use those hookzzz of yours for something... fun."

"Oh?"

"Come over here and shiver my timberzzz, Gabriel."

"Yes, my Prince."


End file.
